Lover, liar, predator: How we took back power from the man who controlled us

Warning: This article contains accounts of sexual violence and domestic abuse

Jenni was a shy 16-year-old studying for her GCSEs when she fell under the spell of a stranger she met online in 2009.

Aaron Swan, 24, was a registered sex offender who lived 150 miles away from Jenni's home in the North Yorkshire town of Scarborough.

Her horrified family turned to the police but they could not stop her leaving to set up home with Swan in Jedburgh in the Scottish Borders.

"The way it went with my family was that the more that they tried to hold on to me, it only made me want to escape even more," she said.

It was the beginning of an abusive relationship which ended with a conviction for domestic violence and two of rape.

But Jenni was not Swan's only victim. In 2023, four women who had been groomed, coerced and abused by Swan over more than 20 years joined forces to bring him to justice. This is their story.

'I was at the top of a very, very steep cliff'

Natalie met Swan at a New Year's Eve party in 2001 when she was 17.

An outgoing committed Christian with an "angsty" side, she was open that she didn't believe in sex before marriage.

Their relationship quickly became intense - and physical.

"I just remember feeling completely bombarded, but in a romantic way," she said. "It felt really wonderful to have someone who was that interested in me."

She announced her pregnancy at her 18th birthday party.

"I felt like, just slightly not able to catch my breath. You know, just this sense of uneasiness.

"And I didn't realise it, but I was at the top of a very, very steep cliff."

'My feelings towards Aaron were almost complete obsession'

Robyn was 18 when she met Swan at work in Jedburgh in 2019.

"He had tattoos and he had his lip pierced and as someone who was into all that stuff myself, I was like, yeah, you look pretty cool."

She initially resisted his advances but quickly realised she enjoyed the attention of her colleague who was by then in his mid-30s.

"Everything became about just kind of waiting around for any kind of interaction with him.

"My feelings towards Aaron were almost complete obsession."

Two years after leaving Scarborough, Jenni was 18 and living in Jedburgh with Swan and their one-year-old child.

She signed up to a college course and made a new friend - Shannon. At lunchtime they would sit in Shannon's car and chat about their relationships.

Jenni told Shannon that Swan cheated on her frequently, and he had a condition which meant he would do things in his sleep that he was unaware of.

"Things that were like, not OK, you know?" Shannon said.

On another occasion, when she was worried about childcare, Jenni explained that child abuse images had been found on his iPod.

He was placed on the sex offenders register for a second time in 2010.

"Everything that she told me about him over time just got worse and worse," Shannon said.

"But he could do one simple thing, like buy her a chocolate bar and she would be elated. There was nothing I could have said."

'I kind of just knew in that moment the friendship was over'

Despite her reservations about Swan, when Jenni asked Shannon to be her bridesmaid, she agreed.

"Jenni was telling me that she was happy, you know? So who am I to, you know, say anything?"

After a party to celebrate the engagement, Shannon stayed over in Jenni's spare room.

"The next thing I remember is being woken by Aaron... He asked me if I wanted a good night kiss?"

She tried to push him off but he pinned down her arms. He raped her - only stopping when she bit him.

"As a female growing up, you always have an idea in your mind of how you would react in that sort of scenario... it's literally down a dark alleyway really late at night, not in your best friend's house and for the attacker to be your best friend's fiance."

Jenni woke up to Swan having sex with her. He told her he'd just had sex with Shannon.

"It didn't feel real," Jenni said. She thought she was still sleep.

Jenni confronted Shannon in the spare room.

"The devastation of hearing that?" Shannon said. "I literally just, it's like, just like a ringing in my ears, there's just nothing after that. Just nothing.

"So yeah, I kind of just knew in that moment the friendship was over."

Jenni was married and on maternity leave after having her second child with Swan when he told her about his affair with Robyn.

Now 19, Robyn was pregnant.

"I thought about not being with him," Jenni said. "But then I also thought about how that would affect our children.

"But I was also just distraught at the thought of him almost having another family."

He went to stay with Robyn and Jenni told her family she had ended the relationship.

One night he lured Jenni to a remote spot next to a river, threatening to kill himself if she didn't meet him.

He accused her of sleeping with other people, took her car keys and demanded to see her phone. He pushed her to the ground.

"I tried to scream for help. And he had me pinned to the car by my throat. So I couldn't talk and I couldn't breathe," she said.

Jenni's family tracked her location on Snapchat and when they rang her phone heard a scuffle before the line went dead.

They called the police but when officers arrived Jenni said Swan gave "this look" and she kept quiet.

"I was covered in mud, I was in pain and I just desperately wanted to say to them, please don't leave me," she said.

"And [the police officer] basically said, maybe you should pick a better time and place to come and speak to your husband instead of the middle of the night and, you know, the middle of nowhere. And I was like, yeah, OK."

Over the next year, Swan moved between the homes of Jenni and Robyn.

Jenni made him sleep on the sofa but one night she woke to him touching her.

"I grabbed his wrist and tried to pull it off me and said no," she said. "But he's a lot stronger than I was. I just pleaded with him to stop."

He told her to stop crying "so I can finish and it'll be over".

Swan raped Robyn in February 2020.

"I'm crying, and I'm telling him that I'm not enjoying myself, and I'd really like it if we could stop. And he tells me, too bad," Robyn said.

"I knew what had happened was wrong and I knew I should have been listened to," she added.

"But I never, ever would have called it rape. Because I didn't want to believe that this is what had happened to me."

'I just pleaded with him to stop'

Jenni eventually went to the police but there was insufficent evidence to charge Swan with rape; instead he was charged with harassment.

Then, out of the blue, Shannon got in touch. She had worked out from Jenni's Facebook profile that the couple had split.

They met up and spoke for the first time since the night of Jenni's engagement party. Shannon told her Swan had raped her.

"I just had this complete and utter meltdown," Jenni said.

They agreed to go to the police together to report Swan for rape.

"And when I told them that I woke up to him having sex with me and I started getting upset, [the police officer] said, do you know that's rape as well?," Jenni said.

In May 2021, Swan was charged with raping Shannon and Jenni.

Police officers told Robyn that Swan had been arrested on suspicion of rape but when they asked her about their relationship, she clammed up.

It was only when she took part in a 12-week domestic violence course - encouraged by Swan's sister - that she began to understand that she was a victim of abuse.

"I didn't actually realise how comforting having a group of women around you can be," she said.

She told them he had complete control over all aspects of her life - she had no money, no keys to their home and she was on edge all the time.

"We got to the week about sexual violence... the look of shock and terror on these women's faces as I described to them the things that he would do.

"And I was like, oh, this must be, this must be really bad."

At the end of the sessions, a video was shown to introduce the creator of the course.

"Then I realised that the woman I was actually watching was Natalie, Aaron's first wife," Robyn said. She had been completely unaware of the connection.

But Natalie knew. She had worked with Swan's sister to get Robyn on the course, after learning that she may be in danger.

She wrote the Own My Life course in a bid to help others who found themselves in a similar situation to her when she was married to Swan.

Natalie said she was violently raped by her husband when she was 21, and six months pregnant.

"Within a week, I'd gone into labour with my son," she said. He was rushed to intensive care.

"And I was just all the time thinking, this is Aaron's fault, there needs to be some consequences."

He was charged with rape but while out on bail he worked his way back into Natalie's life and manipulated her into having sex with him.

In 2006 a jury found him not guilty.

Natalie said: "If in 2014 anyone had said to me you're going to write this thing and this thing is going to enable someone else Aaron's abusing to break free, I would have been like, there's just not a world in which that's possible, so it still blows my mind to this day."

In August 2022, Robyn reported Swan for rape.

Fifteen months later a jury at the High Court in Edinburgh found him guilty of raping Jenni, Shannon and Robyn.

He was also convicted of domestic abuse including coercive and controlling behaviour.

Swan was sentenced to a minimum of six years in prison and given an order for lifelong restriction, meaning he will remain in prison indefinitely until he is considered safe for release.

Natalie joined Jenni, Shannon and Robyn to celebrate the result.

"The fact that he's causing no more pain in the world just makes my life so much better," Natalie said.

Now the women describe themselves as extended family.

"That's how we break his power over us, by being together," Shannon said.

If you or someone you know has been affected by the issues raised in this article, you can find help at the BBC Action Line.